Front Side Vertical Half-Mile
by Wes Fisher –
The bouldering mecca of Hueco Tanks has an interesting, unique history. From ancient times up until today, there are countless tales of notable comings and goings of humans within this majestic landscape.
In January of 2023 I got a call from Ross Andrea. He was responding to a post I put up on the message board at the Hueco Tanks Mountain Hut, for partners to climb some roped routes. We had both been coming to Hueco for many years but had never crossed paths before.
After a couple days of climbing routes on North mountain, like Indecent Exposure, Sea of Holes, and others, we both became highly interested in climbing a multitude of routes in a single day. In recent years Ross had developed a relatively safe system for simul-climbing. We talked extensively about ways to rappel efficiently in order to do a big linkup, how to quickly transition between climbs, and other details for getting in a lot of climbing during the shortened day of the state park hours. Open from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. , this inconvenient reality was made further evident during one training day, when a ranger told us to be out of the gate by 6 or he would take our park pass.
On March 5, 2023, after several more training days, Ross and I started out on our quest to climb as many routes as possible on the front side of North Mountain. We pulled up to the front gate of the park 20 minutes before opening, to be the fifth car in line. Ross asked some guys in a car ahead of us if we could go in front of them, explaining our goal to do a massive linkup. Their response was a quick “no” with the excuse that they only had a half day to climb. I had to laugh at this, annoyed but resolved by default. The ensuing wait put us in the park at 8:30 instead of 8.
For the first climb of the day, Ross took the sharp end for Fox Trot, setting a proud pace by doing the 140 feet of led-out 5.9+ climbing in 12 minutes, without ever having done the route prior. I had done the reconnaissance of the Fox Tower Buttress, scaling Fox Trot on March 4th. This route was chosen after I had done the route named Fox Tower and came upon a massive owl on the belay ledge. It gave me a unique moan-howl as it flew off and left behind an egg and a rabbit that was a fresh kill. To give Mr. owl some space we then crossed this climb off the list for our endurance day.
After Ross’ rapid ascent, I followed up Fox Trot in similar time, then we quickly tossed our gear together and made our way to the next buttresses to climbers left. I led the three pitches of Uriah’s Heap in one long pitch, with an 80 meter rope, ending up at a anchor. Ross followed up with a 70 meter rope on his back. We fixed both of these ropes on the anchors individually so that we could save time by rappelling at the same time, in relatively safe form. The wind was already up enough that it took our ropes sideways into a wide cleft full of vegetation. The ropes tangled on each other and a dead tree, which got pulled out and dragged down the face below us, creating extra, precious time spent untangling rope.
Next was Indecent Exposure, which we simul-climbed with a 40 meter rope in one pitch. We decided on this wind-exposed climb early in the day, since the breeze was forecasted to increase as the day progressed. Ross cruised the route on lead in fine form, and from the top we quickly made our way to our fixed ropes atop Uriah’s Heap. After zipping down the rap lines, we hopped on Sea of Holes.
It’s hard to describe how much fun Sea of Holes is. Long stretches between anchors, big huecos(holes) abound, and continuously fun moves make up this vertical jug haul. Once again Ross styled it on lead. The long simul-climbed pitch brought us to the top and a short hop,skip,jump to the rap lines.
Next we opted for the physical crux of the day, Desperado at 5.11+. This climb starts 100 feet above the ground. To access it, I lead the way up Lunatic Friends, at 5.10+, and then a short traverse over to the Desperado anchors. Ross took the sharp end once again for this exciting pitch. He powered through without pause, going through an exhilarating set of overhanging moves through huecos and good edges for holds, then a short yet technical crack, and to a belay stance. I then set out on this pitch that is wild for the follower as well, with a big step across a gap on small holds, that is both airy and exposed. Then up the huecos, I fought the forearm pump and moved as quickly as possible to get past the overhung section. It’s just a matter of time before one’s forearms give out on this stretch, so getting up to the lower angled section above was stimulating relief. When I arrived at the belay station, we cheered on our progress for climbing through the physical crux of the day.
The belay spot atop this climb sits in the Super Bowl feature, a round hueco that stretches 40 feet across and 15 feet high, with a stellar view of the surrounding desert floor. By this point we had climbed over 1,000 feet and my feet were starting to feel the burn of tight-fitting climbing shoes. I took off said footwear and did the scramble to our fixed lines barefoot, with the sharp rock being a welcome sensation, relatively speaking.
At the base of the rappel this time, we didn’t have to move in order to get on the next climb, Hueco Syndrome. With fun and thoughtful moves up sparse features, this route is one of the cleanest lines in the park. One simul-climbed pitch through what is typically done in three brought us to this set of rappel lines for the last time. We simul-rappelled and then pulled the ropes, in order to fix them at another section of rock further to climbers left.
At the base of Cakewalk wall, we deposited gear and I went up Return of Cakewalk in one 75 meter pitch. Atop this climb we once again set up two ropes as we’d done previously for a single rope rappel to the ground.
Next we moved over to Cakewalk direct to do a combination of that, Cakewalk, and Peasant’s Revolt. I led these in one simul-climbed pitch, particularly enjoying the airy, overhanging section of Peasant’s Revolt. Another rappel to the ground and we talked about what climb to go for next, with time becoming a limiting factor. We opted for Alice in Bananaland to Busted. I led AIB and Ross swapped leads at the anchor, tackling Busted. During my lead I said “hey man, this is starting to feel like groundhog day”, and that inside joke was then off and running the rest of the day. We rappelled and then knew that time was only going to allow for one or two more climbs. We went to the central buttress containing All The Nasties, and though we’d talked about swapping leads once again, Ross offered to lead it all in one pitch. He did so and we topped out with waning light. Once at the rappel station it was apparent that we’d be making the last of the days rappels and also be done with the climbing.
A quick stuffing of gear into packs and we paced down the road to the car, exiting the park gate just in time before closing. Back at the mountain hut, we agreed that going out for protein and beer were much needed. Upon seeing my appearance, a friend said, “You look like shit”. I said, “well I feel like shit”. But only in part, I also felt a stupor of euphoric exhaustion that was to last for many days.
We tallied up the days progress to 2,700 feet of climbing up ten separate routes, 25 pitches, and boat loads of fun. Lots of hours of training and preparation went into this effort, notably including Ross doing an impressive 1,000 foot girdle traverse of the front side, with our friend Nate. We climbed up to the top of the formation on 8 of the 10 climbs, only stopping at the top chains of those two climbs to fix the rappel lines. We deliberately chose routes on almost all of the major buttresses, and on a spectrum of grades from 5.7 to 5.11. No falls, hangs, or aiding, all of the climbing went free. My wife took the video of us and provided some enthusiastic cheering. No outside assistance was given, we did it all self-contained and all gear was brought in and out the same day.
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